Fail on Twitter in Five Easy Steps.

by Julie on April 20, 2009

failwhaleolantern1

It’s surprisingly easy to fail on Twitter. If you don’t want to make any good contacts, grow your business nor create a solid network, all you have to do is:

  1. Set up auto-DMs that are impersonal and contain spammy links. For example:  ‘Thanks for the follow! Like to know how to get 200+ targeted followers every day and make money? http://blah.blah.’ These are particularly bad if they arrive after you’ve had a real conversation on Twitter with the person you’re following. The Fix: Don’t use auto-DMs. Send a message when you have something personal to say. Be human.
  2. Only tweet about yourself. Here are some doozies: ‘I’m really hungry.’ or ‘Why isn’t anyone responding back to me?’ or ‘Read my post!’ (five times in a row). The Fix: 80-90% of your tweets should offer value and information to others either by @replying to someone in your network, sharing links to good sites or articles or retweeting (RT) someone else’s valuable information.
  3. Harass people. Someone recently followed me and when I went to see their Twitter updates, they were all @replies to different people that said, ‘Follow me back so I can DM (direct message) you.’ I didn’t follow her, and I received one of those @replies within 30 minutes. Bullying people into following you or talking to you isn’t the best technique. The Fix: Create a valuable dialogue based on a fellow Twitterer’s recent tweets or bio and follow the other steps here so that people are naturally inclined to follow you.
  4. Stalk people. When you’re new to Twitter and you’re only following a few people, even 50 people, it’s easy to watch and listen to their every move. It’s tempting to reply to every one of their tweets. However, they’re likely following a lot of people and having conversations with a lot of people…and think that your incessant responding is stalker-like (and annoying). The Fix: Follow more people so your Twitter stream is varied and hold your tongue…save those @replies for something really juicy or important.
  5. Hit us hard in your bio. Promise money, business or immortality. And make it really cheesy and over the top. It’s a sure fire way to get blocked by other folks on Twitter. The Fix: Create a Twitter bio that talks about who you are and what you’re interested in. Sound like a person, not a snake oil salesman.

Twitter Fail Whale O’Lantern Image is classic & by RealEstateZebra

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Jen @ Eco-Office Gals April 20, 2009 at 7:10 am

A few of my faves to add for auto no-follow:
Don’t create a bio
Protect your updates
Don’t change the default avatar
& Max out your 2,000 following with 1-2 updates and no followers
🙂

2 --Deb April 20, 2009 at 4:42 pm

I absolutely hate auto DMs, and my rule is that I always, automatically UNfollow anyone who sends me one. (At least, if it’s at all identifiable as being an auto-DM, but then, the ones that aren’t tend not to be obnoxious, so I’m more willing to let them slide.)

And, yes, what IS the deal with protecting updates, anyway? Why would I want to follow someone who makes it so darn difficult??

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